Falling Down the Rabbit Hole
No sitcom could teach Scott,
About the dram
Or even explain the troubles that haunted my mom
On Christmas time
My mom Christmas crying
Got me most of what I wanted how’d you do it mom?
Huh, she got me toys I would play with in my room by myself
Why he by himself?
He got 2 older brothers 1 hood 1 good
An independent older sister kept me fine when she could
But they all didn’t see
Tile little bit of sadness in me–Kid Cudi
I got my hands on some magic mushrooms early August because I guess if you didn’t grow them yourself that was the “in” season that they grew wild. I couldn’t wait to eat these babies. In the bag they came in they looked golden with a little bit of a blue tint to them. From what I had read those were the good ones. I planned carefully where and when I would be tripping because after all my research, I learned that a “good” trip could easily turn “bad” if you didn’t have the right setting and if you didn’t trust the people you were with.
With the plan set up of sleeping over at a buddy’s house later in the week I packed my bags. My eyes were droopy from not much sleep. I couldn’t remember what a full night’s sleep felt like. I believe the last time I fell asleep with no worries on my mind was sometime in seventh grade. Once my bags
were packed I longboarded over to my buddy’s house. I walked in and at the time it was about 4 PM. It was me and six other guys. I didn’t really trust all of them, so I was expecting to have a terrible trip, but any trip would be better than living in reality. We grabbed some grub, but I didn’t eat much so that once I devoured the mushrooms, they would come on quick.
I grabbed the vacuum sealed bag of mushrooms and showed the guys I was for real. They looked at me like I was crazy. They all smoked so much more weed before they had gotten me into it all. I thought all of them had seen all the harder drugs before, but I was sadly mistaken. I took some scissors and popped open the bag. It made a loud popping sound like a bag of fresh chips would. The smell was horrible! It smelled like something had died and someone threw it in a bag. I can’t believe I’m going to eat these, I kept thinking to myself.
I grabbed the first one by the stem and lowered it into my mouth. I tried chewing it, but I couldn’t take the taste I swallowed it whole. One down and six more to go. After fifteen minutes of kneeling over the toilet and trying to down the fungus, I was successful. It was about 6 PM once all of them were consumed. I sat around waiting for the effects to come on while the guys smoked a couple bowls on the porch. This was where my anxiety started to kick in and I started to get second thoughts, this was not good. I was about to have a panic attack. After about an hour I started feeling really happy and laughed about everything. “Bryce you feeling it yet?” One of the guys whispered to me.
“Not at all dude, these mushrooms were shit. I got played” I was pretty disappointed that I had gotten played by my dealer but was still feeling really happy. Another hour went by and I was trying to take a cat nap while the guys were laughing and having a good time. I heard my name being yelled across the room, so I opened my eyes and sat up quickly. I looked around the room for a second and saw that the walls were breathing. It was like they were alive. Trees started growing out of the carpet and I was in awe.
“Are you guys seeing this?” My eyes were so wide thought they would pop out
of my head.
“Seeing what man?” Everyone started laughing because they knew what was happening. I was tripping hard.
Immediately I was annoyed and felt the need to go outside. I flung the slider door open to go out into the back yard and laid in the grass. Every blade of grass was tickling my back. I could feel every single blade of grass that was against my body. The next thing that caught my attention was a squirrel that was out. I looked at it and it started to grow to the size of a human. It beckoned me over and I started with a slow walk, but then began running after it. It suddenly disappeared and what appeared in front of me next was what you see in the movies when an earthquake happens and the Earth cracks down the middle. I looked at it for a second and thought, If I jump, I will die.
I was questioning my existence, like what if I was already dead. What if I had already done something stupid during my trip that killed me. I decided to jump down into the never-ending abyss. I fell and fell almost like it was a never-ending hole, until finally I hit the ground. I was dazed and confused. I didn’t know where I was, and I started to panic. No longer was I in my friends back yard, but another planet. Nothing was down in the dark abyss. As I sat there alone, I was able to think about loneliness. Was I exactly lonely? Did I really not have anyone in my life?
In my head I heard a female’s voice say, “You have taken your life for granted, and don’t enjoy it. Would you like to go back, or stay here with me?” I didn’t see her anywhere it was only my conscience that heard her, but it was like my conscience was pointing at the door in front of me and then I heard her again. “Through that door is happiness. All of your family and friends waiting for you in the afterlife. All you need to do is tell me you want to stay with me.” Picking this door was like picking suicide without the pain. I never said anything back. I only thought, I want to stay with her, but I want to say goodbye to my family and friends.
Once I thought this, it was like the woman gave me another chance to go back into reality and say good bye, trusting that I would come back. I was sucked through a force field in front of me and thrown upwards. I landed hard on the ground. Once I opened my eyes I was in a dark room. I sat up and looked around and noticed I was in my friends’ room where they had all fallen asleep. But there was one more person in the room. My parents. Now I wish I would have picked that door. Depression was eating away at my entire life.
I believe I will take many more writing classes in the future I enjoyed creative writing the most out of any other writing class that I have taken in high school. My goals as a writer have changed because I have reached other goals therefore making new ones. I am very happy with the success I have achieved in this class and have learned many techniques that will help me develop my papers that I will be writing in college. I am glad that I have been able to share this story with more than just my family because I believe getting the story out is part of the healing process. If I could write anything and if I had the time to write anything, I would write a more in-depth story on my life between these limes. After that I would have no more interest in non- fiction because I LOVE fantasy. As stated in the story, fantasies are what have kept me driving forward and looking forward to what is to come of my life. I have found that writing this paper has been very therapeutic for me. I wouldn’t have traded this class for any other if I had the chance.