Trust me No amount of words will ever express my utter disgust at that fact that you’re still alive, At the fact that you still breathe. If I had one chance to do anything I could to you, I’d watch you suffer as you beg for help. You don’t deserve to live the rest of your life as you are, you are worthless, A f**king cheap cigar. Everything that you ever loved will be taken away, The moment you shut your eyes, of all the things you’ve ever done, The worst was in the past few months, it’s hard to keep from getting burned, When love is like fire.—Motionless in White As I tried to cope with the emotional abuse it started to become my “normal feeling “. Feeling lower than dirt and like I was good for nothing than serving Mike was a content feeling for me. I forgot what it was like to feel happy or excited for anything. I would get home and only live for Mike. I would wait for him to ask me to go somewhere or do something for him, and if I refused then he would play the guilt trip on me. Our talks before we went to bed each night were beginning to be more personal with the questions, he asked me. About my life, my girlfriend, any hot girls at school and what not. I thought this was normal until one night he asked me a weird question. “Hey, can I ask you something that may seem weird at first but will come to your benefit in the end?” Mike seemed like he already had a plan on what was going to happen. “Yeah, go for it dude. I don’t care.” I said slightly above a whisper so I wouldn’t wake anyone in the house up. “Do you know if you can make babies yet?” There was a long silence in between the question and my answer because I didn’t know yet what he was asking. “I have no idea, why?” I chuckled and laughed louder than I intended to. “Well do you want to see if you can make babies?” Mike seemed annoyed with me because I was laughing about it. “Sure, I guess.” I didn’t know what I was getting myself into at this point. Actually, I think I did but I didn’t want to believe what I thought was going to happen. Immediately I started to break out into a nervous sweat. Mike got out of his bed and made his way over to my bed. He was kneeling near my bedside and I could feel his breath on my face he was so close. He slipped his hands under my blanket and his hands swept down my pants and under my boxers. I quickly grabbed his hand. “Kyle, do you trust me? You know I wouldn’t hurt you. Plus, you owe me this.” In the back of my head I honestly thought to myself that I did in fact owe him this. So, I slowly let up off his hand and he made his way down. I remember it was shockingly cold at first, and I was confused at what he was trying to do to my privates because I have never seen or heard of such a thing. My conscience was telling me what I was letting him do was beyond terrible. STOP! STOP! The silence was screaming, and nobody could hear it. I was frozen. I didn’t know what to do. I wanted him to stop but I physically couldn’t move. Suddenly I got very scared. “Well would you look at that, you can make babies. This is great dude! I’ll be right back.” Mike got up and went to the bathroom. When Mike came back into the room, he looked very satisfied. He asked me how I felt now that I know that I can make babies. “I don’t know.” I answered still puzzled. “How am I supposed to feel?” “Well you should feel great. You have hit puberty. With that aside what else would you like to talk about?” Mike continued ”I’m pretty tired right now can we pick up tomorrow night?” I was out of breath physically and emotionally from the day. “I guess. See you tomorrow morning bud” Every night we would talk about something different, Mike would always conclude with the usual hand down the pants. I was always drained after that. It happened every night, and whenever I told him no, I was too tired, I would wake up in the middle of the night with his hands down my pants. “Mike, it’s two o’clock in the morning, can’t it wait until tomorrow?” I was desperate for some sleep. “Just ignore me bud. Go to sleep” Mike never listened to me and would proceed with what he was doing. At school I was drained and couldn’t stay awake because I was constantly woken up in the middle of the night to Mike’s hands in my pants. It was really annoying, and I hated it, but I would always think that I did owe him that for all he did for me. My grades showed that I wasn’t getting enough sleep, but I didn’t care about grades at the time, I just wanted to get through each day. One night I woke up on my stomach. I swung over to get more comfortable and was face-to-face with Mike, and I noticed that my pants were all the way off because my butt rubbed against my flannel sheets. “Dude what the hell? What are you doing?” I was mad this lime, and I made it known. “I was just trying something Kyle. You don’t have to be a bitch about it you f**king pansy.” Mike grabbed me and flung me back on my stomach. “Let me finish up what I was doing, and you can sleep all you want.
Colorado Hotline Receives Record Number of Child Abuse Calls in 2018
Concerned Coloradans called the state’s Child Abuse and Neglect Hotline almost 222,000 times in 2018, according to a new report from the Colorado Department of Human Services (CDHS). December marked the end of the fourth year of the public awareness campaign, which is put on by the CDHS. The 24/7 hotline — 1-844-264-5437 — received a record of 221,969 calls in 2018, which is a 10,500 increase from 2017. Thanks to the people who made the calls, social services agencies investigated the safety of more than 57,042 children in 2018. Of those children, 13,289 were experiencing abuse or neglect, according to CDHS. In addition, 12,787 families received voluntary support from social services to help prevent abuse or neglect in the future. Read more about the hotline’s success: https://www.thedenverchannel.com/news/local-news/colorado-child-abuse-neglect-hotline-sees-record-number-of-calls-in-2018
Executive Director Letter 2018
What has 2018 brought me? I have been saying this for a while now, that every year has gotten better than the last, and this one didn’t disappoint. For starters, I got married to the most beautiful, wonderful and loving person in the world. There were so many incredible little moments and events leading up to what was the greatest day of my life. For those that played apart in the journey, you know who you are, and we can’t thank you enough. Alex, you make me a better person and I can’t wait to continue this lifelong adventure together. On an HPF level, well… I feel like I have been stalling to get to this because I don’t know where to begin. 2018 was a year of growth and progress for the organization. It was like watching a young man or woman start to understand what strength they possess to make a difference and we all witnessed HPF start to blossom. This year, we had our first anti-bullying event. It was a special night for kids at a showing of the “Black Panther” movie which was an opportunity to connect with children on the impact of bullying in a fun, educational and entertaining manner. We also had our first large-scale fundraiser, The Orange Tie Affair. It was a stunning night of music and stories for healing at the Camden Adventure Aquarium. The work that our team did on what was the first large scale collaborative effort is noticed when you have a media presence and a buzzing of sponsorships in line for April of 2019. The OTA is strategically held during Child Abuse Prevention Month because it provides us the opportunity to share the stories of heroes that have come forward, while showcasing the strength of many. There were a handful of other events that embody what it is that HPF stands for, that we were able to host. We had our first Brews against Bruises event during October, which is domestic violence month. The funds that were raised during Brews against Bruises, allowed HPF to achieve one of its original objectives, the ability to support other organizations that are aligned with ourmission on a financial level. This year for #GivingTuesday, we were able to drop off a check to Avanzar, a women’s shelter in Atlantic City, NJ. As we grow, we look forward to helping out numerous organizations that are doing tremendous work. Last, but certainly not least, HPF stepped to the forefront of digital innovation in the non-profit world with not just the release of a new website, but also introducing HPF Pulse. Pulse is making it easier for people to find help and in future iterations; we will create a community where heroes can share how they are overcoming obstacles. Pulse allows us to talk about abuse on a greater scale, which we believe is the next step in eradicating abuse. There were so many other heroes we were able to help on an individual level, but that we won’t name out of respect for their privacy. Thank you for your bravery and trusting in HPF. Your stories will help others. I cannot wait to see what 2019 holds. The Humanity Preservation Foundation is positioned for great success and will be at the forefront of navigating what could be a very enlightening time. I can’t thank our supporters enough. Friends. Family. Strangers. Loved ones. Heroes. You all are playing a part and it makes me so thankful to see so many Orange Hearts. My best to what will be an incredible 2019! Charles “Buddy” Custer Executive Director / Co-Founder
Executive Director Letter 2017
Ladies & Gentlemen, Four years ago, my first year-end recap was more of a wish list for what I wanted to happen at HPF and I admit, I didn’t know what I was getting myself into. We were new, we were finding our sea legs and we were trying to figure out how to create a community. We didn’t know what direction HPF was going, but we knew there was a need for what we were trying to accomplish. Now, that I have had some time to watch HPF grow, this letter has become my favorite part of the year. It has provided me with an opportunity to reflect on all the great things we are doing and where we are heading. I hope that you enjoy the ride as much as I have thus far. …Especially since some of those previously mentioned wish list items are coming to life and we are seeing the impact that HPF can have… 2017 was an interesting year not just for HPF, but also for the world as a whole. If you asked me to tie what HPF did as an organization this year with some of the global trends we saw, I would offer a one-word response…PLATFORM. This year we wanted to take a step back and look at some of groundwork that was laid and determine how to best bring that to life. We had a million initiatives and projects in the air that were in development, but only a handful of substantial outputs. We took the first quarter to focus on the strategic plan for the full year and I really believe it helped us focus our efforts. Coming out of our strategic planning quarter, we jumped right into April which some of you may know is Child Abuse Prevention Month (CAPM). 2016 was the first year that HPF participated in CAPM and 2017 was all about doing more. This year in addition to the annual 30 for 30 series, where we share one prevention post a day and the multiple speaking series we participate in, we also had six survivors or heroes as we like to call them, come forward and share there stories. The Hero series is one of the most impactful initiatives that we have conducted to date. When we started HPF, we wanted to provide a PLATFORM that would allow survivors to come forward and tell their story. This platform is a chance for those that were abused to get their voice out there. As fellow Co-founder Rhett Hackett said, “We know that when we tell the story, it doesn’t just help the person telling the story, but it helps those that are listening as well.” As we saw on a global scale, heroes everywhere were finding their PLATFORM this year. From all of those that shared their stories in the media, Hollywood, the workplace, or wherever, victims are now finding the strength to come forward and tell their story. This has had not only an impact on victims but on bystanders as well. The time of sitting back watching and not saying something is becoming a thing of the past and that is the first step in eradicating abuse. It is going to take a full fledge effort from everyone, not just those that have experienced it first hand. I would be remised if I didn’t mention Tristan during this…In 2010, when Rhett went on the Oprah Winfrey special 200 men molested, ten thousand miles away, Tristan’s mom was watching and attempting to deal with her own son’s recent abuse. After her and Rhett formed a relationship, the decision was made to send Tristan to the USA to stay with Rhett and his family. Tristan spent his time seeing some of the great sites on the East Coast, while also attending a few HPF speaking events. At these events Tristan had the opportunity to speak with counselors and also share his story with an attentive audience. I suggest watching some of Tristan’s recap videos for a first hand experience of how his trip went. Sticking with the PLATFORM theme, HPF also launched a one-stop location for victims, volunteers and caregivers to come and find the resources they are looking. This year we launched the HPF Pulse platform on our website, a resource directory that showcases the available resources in three key categories of Child Abuse, Domestic Violence and Bullying across the United States. A resource center was one of the first things that we wanted to build as an organization and we have done just that with HPF Pulse. The next step for HPF Pulse is to create a mobile friendly version that will be available to the masses. A team has just been finalized and we are already in the process of developing that application. We are looking to release the app in 2018; during you guessed it, Child Abuse Prevention Month. Where we are looking to release that app is during a very special event for us, The Orange Tie Affair. The Orange Tie Affair in April will be the first large-scale event that HPF hosts and is a great opportunity for us to showcase what we do as an organization to the masses. Stay tuned for more on this. We will also be revamping the Ambassador Program in 2018 and will look to collaborate with a handful of organizations to bring Operation Disabled to life (a wearable that allows non-communicative kids to share if something inappropriate may be happening to them). 2017 was a big year for The Humanity Preservation Foundation and I am proud to say that every year has gotten bigger and bigger. From the number of volunteers dedicating their time and efforts, to the number of supporters that we see promoting our cause, to the number of dollars that people are willing to donate to our mission. It is these efforts and this year over year growth that is going to help us prevent abuse in the future.
HPF Heroes – Tonya
Hi my name is Tonya, and I am a very proud mum of a very brave young man who was sexually assaulted by someone he trusted. This story isn’t about my son, but is about me and how it feels being a parent of a child that has been violated by someone. Anyway, the day Tristan told me I was just about ready to leave to go to my brother’s wedding. Everyone was waiting for me in the car and Tristan was late. I was waiting for him to turn up to come to the wedding with us. I stopped in the hallway to straighten myself up a bit and my phone rang, it was Tristan. I answered and sternly I said to him where the hell are you! We are waiting for you! I was a bit mad. There was silence on the other end of the phone and a scared voice said to me MUM @#$%^ sexually assaulted me. I remember a horrible feeling I got all over. I didn’t know what to say, I can’t quite remember exactly what I said to him, but I was so thankful he had the courage to tell me. Luckily he was with his youth group leader at the time. After a short conversation with Tristan I walked out to the car. I was thinking how am I going to get through this wedding today. I can’t tell anyone, I don’t want to ruin the day for the rest of the family. I said Tristan wasn’t feeling very well so he wasn’t able to attend. The drive to the wedding was a blur. So many thoughts going through my mind. Perhaps if I just forget about it, it might go away and I won’t have to think about it. I can understand now why some people might do that, just sweep it under the rug and not mention it again. That time it looked like the easiest option to me, then I don’t have to deal with it. I just won’t tell anyone and it will go away. So when I hear about people who brush things like this under the rug, I can kind of understand why they do that. That thought didn’t last very long however. The next thing I felt was how much of a useless parent I was, letting this happen to my kid. This is something I still feel from time to time. We as parents are supposed to protect our children and I had failed big time in that department. I also felt very very ashamed of myself and that I would look really bad to other people and be judged by others regarding my parenting skills. The big thing I am dealing with now is anger and hate. I actually want to kill this person. I even made a plan on how I was going to do it then turn myself in to the police afterwards. But I have to keep reminding myself my son has already been hurt enough by this person and to have his mum put away would hurt him more. I could write forever about my feelings and thoughts , I have never talked to another parent about what they are thinking so someone might get a bit of peace knowing that some other parent feels the same as them. I am very lucky to have a great bunch of kids, I am proud of them all! Tristan is my hero. He stood up to his abuser in court and I am so proud of him. In my eyes he won that case, he stood up for himself, he could have self-destructed but he didn’t, though I think it came close a few times. He is a strong man now and I can take credit for some of that, not once did I ever doubt him. I have always said to my kids “ shit happens to us sometimes, and has ruined a bit of your life but it is up to you if you let it ruin tomorrow or the rest of your life.” I really think Tristan has taken this idea on-board. He has a lot of healing to do and seeing Rhett and having him help him get started with that healing process also helps me as a mum deal with my issues. I still feel all those emotions sometimes in one day. I still want to kill this man I will never forgive him for what he has taken from my family. I look at Tristan’s baby photos and kid photos and I cry because that man took my little boy from me, but I now have a strong man in my life that I am so proud of. I am thankful for that. Thank-you Rhett and your family for your help, the the last few years it’s been amazing knowing that there has been someone to talk to when needed. Please, if there are any parents out there that need to talk about your feelings please contact Rhett and get my details from him. I feel the mums and dads get a bit forgotten in this at times, we need to stay strong for our kids and always believe them it is so important that our kids feel they are safe to tell you things. We can’t protect them all the time but we can make sure they know that we are always there when they need us even when they have done wrong. Advice to anyone who harms a kid look out for the mother!!!!! They will be worse to deal with than the police… believe me on that one… 14/30
Executive Director Letter 2016
Ladies & Gentlemen, If you are reading this then congratulations – you have done the impossible. You survived 2016 and all that it was. There was a lot of chaos out there, but there was also a lot of love & kindness being shared. HPF as an organization witnessed this first hand through the number of people we helped (children and adults), the number of impressions we made and the amount of money that we raised. Spoiler alert: all were our highest totals since we founded this thing back in 2013. That does not happen without your participation and there is only more to come in 2017. The first couple of years at HPF were spent doing our homework. If you remember my first year-end letter, I spoke a lot about the shocking number of children that fall victim to abuse before the age of 18 (1 in 4 girls and 1 in 6 boys.) Those numbers still exist today, but what has changed is the number of people that are willing to have a conversation. This year as an organization we presented to the highest total of schools, rotary clubs, businesses and other organizations that we ever have. Organizations that wanted to hear about how to prevent abuse and who wanted to know how they could help make a difference. These organizations realize that the fight cannot be fought alone and that “It is Not Okay”. For a while there was just a few of us fighting the good fight at HPF. This year we focused on expansion and building our team. We are now at over 25 volunteers who have all bought into the mission of preventing interpersonal violence. To see the level of involvement and the effort that this team brings on a daily basis is tremendous. I am so proud to be a part of this family – this family of individuals who all bring their own unique story. It is absolutely fascinating. Of course, with great people comes great work and that is exactly what we did. In 2016 we built the framework and launched tremendous educational/prevention programs. In April, we launched the first ever 30 for 30 series during Child Abuse Awareness Month. For all 30 days during the month of April, a different story was posted. There were some great stories that not only came from external sources, but also a few from our internal volunteers. No matter where they came from, each story had a focus on how to prevent abuse. We also introduced our weekly feel good blog posts – which quickly became my favorite weekly read and the DEFINED series. The DEFINED series will provide an educational spin on exactly what Child Abuse, Domestic Violence, and Bullying are. This year was also the introduction of our first media campaign. Our media team consisting all of volunteers, collaborated to develop a series of videos all with a focus on raising awareness and highlighting that “There is No Better Time Than Now”. What that means, is there is no better time than now to start having conversations, to volunteer, to donate, to get involved, to stand up for something that is bigger than all of us. The “There is No Better Time Than Now” campaign served as a launch platform for the HPF Ambassador Program. The Ambassador Program is a simple way for individuals in their communities to get involved by representing and promoting our mission to prevent bullying, domestic violence and child abuse. Each ambassador brings a unique perspective and a wonderful story of why they want to be involved. The platform is in place and we look forward to seeing this program grow on a National level. I encourage you get involved and find out how you can help in your community. On the tail end of the Ambassador Program launching came our #GivingTuesday efforts. #GivingTuesday has become a date recognized on an International level and something that we have participated in every year since our inception. I am sure you can guess, with a great team of volunteer support, this year was our best year yet. It was our best year for not only the total amount of money that was raised on #GivingTuesday, but also for the amount of people that we educated through a live school presentation by our Co-Founder and the distribution of our greatest prevention tool a newly designed website. Wrapping up what was already a successful 2016, came the release of the #OrangeChallenge. We admit, the #OrangeChallenge is a play off of the hugely successful #IceBucketChallenge. The Ice Bucket Challenge has single handedly done more for ALS research than any other program in such a short period of time. If we can mirror even a fraction of that, but for the prevention and awareness of the impact of sexual abuse on a child – we will make a difference. Keep an eye out for the Orange Peel Smiles out there and if you have a moment, post your own Orange Peel Smile with the hashtag #OrangeChallenge. There was a ton of great work on top of the aforementioned programs that occurred in 2016. Some small and some large programs, but all programs that had the intent of building a strong foundation for what is going to be a great 2017. 2017 will be focused on building all of our established programs while focusing on our 4 largest and main initiatives: The Oranges Application: an app that will revolutionize the way support is provided to victims and caregivers. Operation Disabled: a program that will incorporate wearable technology to help prevent non-communicative children from falling victim to abuse. The Safety Summit: an event/summit bringing together caregivers, educators and products that offer children safety all with the focus on keeping kids safe. HPF Virtual Reality: a story capitalizing on the VR platform that will offer a visual to the hardships and grey area that is created by abuse. The above initiatives will drive how we prevent
Sixth Year Anniversary – Oprah 200 Men Episode
It’s been six years since the landmark episode of “200 Men Molested” aired on the Oprah Winfrey Show where I had the honor to stand alongside 199 other men and Tyler Perry and give testimony of my history of child sexual abuse! From there – the stigma of shame and the secrecy had been shattered and my goal to help others began and my life changed forever in the best of ways! Today, I/we share the link of that amazing episode for two reasons. It’s time to have a discussion. If you have children, take a moment to watch the episode and then discuss with your children the safety in preventing a predator from harming them. Take inventory to the people that are directly connected with your son or daughter. Not sure what to say – we can help you! If you are a person that has been victimized as a child – it’s time to have a discussion! Watch the show and know that healing is possible. You do not have to live with the burden of shame and that the best life available to you is possible! There are many services out there now and one can be found for you! And remember – YOU MATTER!
Humanity Preservation In Action
Our team work makes the dream work. We make the most impact by working together!
HPF Firsty Award Recipient – Morgan Ridgway
Congrats Morgan Ridgway our latest “Firsty” Award winner who worked hard and had HPF come in and do a presentation at Barnegat High School!!! Thank you Zachary Weintraut and congratulations! About the Firsty Award The Humanity Preservation Foundation Firsty Award is an award given those who have achieved a “first” for our organization that helps us move in a forward direction – advancing it in the direction towards the vision that was intended! With no set list the items can range from a “like” on Facebook, an external fundraiser or a type of donation! How one earns a “Firsty” is to get involved and support our efforts, mission, and goals to provide hope in the darkest of circumstances! You could be our next recipient!
HPF Firsty Award Recipient – Steve Sailor
Humanity Preservation Foundation is proud to announce the latest recipient of the HPF Firsty Award to Steve Sailor for preparing 990 Tax form to the IRS in order to obtain our non-profit status. On top of preparing this important tax form for HPF, he did an amazing job getting all of our finances in order! Thank you Steve Sailor and congratulations! About the Firsty Award The Humanity Preservation Foundation Firsty Award is an award given those who have achieved a “first” for our organization that helps us move in a forward direction – advancing it in the direction towards the vision that was intended! With no set list the items can range from a “like” on Facebook, an external fundraiser or a type of donation! How one earns a “Firsty” is to get involved and support our efforts, mission, and goals to provide hope in the darkest of circumstances! You could be our next recipient!