My name is Rebecca and in 2008, when I was 16 years old, I was sent to Carolina Springs Academy, located in Donald’s, South Carolina. I lived there for a year. We lived in a point based system. We could earn around 25 points a day but they set us up to call one another out for rule violations, which resulted in loss of points. Breaking Code Silence was a ‘Category 2’ violation, which meant a loss of 25 points. A loss of 25 points was a day added to your stay. Points were needed to vote up to different levels and with each level came different privileges. There were 6 levels total. Upper levels had to “vote up” so even if they earned enough points, the majority still had to be in favor of them. Once you landed level 4 (1600 points) you were an official upper level which meant you’re essentially staff. Upper levels “on shift” had to “call out” their peers for violations all day long and even walked outside the line to look for violations. If we were not accountable they “staffed it” which meant we lost double the points of the category violation plus you landed yourself in worksheets. Worksheets were hours of the same essay topics over and over again. If you didn’t comply with worksheets that was a 206NFD not following directions, another CAT2, loss of 25 points. Breaking three of the same violations was a CAT4, insubordination, which means if you earned any levels you now lost those privileges. Coming in as a level 1 you got nothing but a pleated skirt uniform and some knee high socks. No looking, no touching, NO BREAKING SILENCE. Privileges included being able to shave, waking up at 4:45am for first dibs on a 7 minute freezing cold shower, and a 15 to 20 minute (monitored) phone call with your parents and only your parents. If you said the “wrong” thing (for example “there’s no hot water” or “I’m being abused”) the phone call was cut short, your parents were told you were manipulating to come home and you got a correction. Some violations included breathing too loud, not looking straight ahead, looking out of a window, writing, unsatisfactory uniform, sitting with your heels off the ground, a wrinkle in your bedding and our bed rails were checked daily for dust. We had only a laundry basket to keep our uniform and shoes in which were also checked daily. We washed our clothes once a week. We slept in yellow sweat outfits. We needed permission to spit, fix our hair, use the bathroom, to talk, to use somebody’s name while talking, to stand, to sit, to basically do anything. If you were a lower level you needed permission to “call someone out” and a chaperone when speaking with other lower levels. There was absolutely no touching, no hugs, no holding hands, not even a poke. Our every move was controlled. Prison inmates have more rights then we did. We had the same schedule every day. We walked in straight lines and counted through doors. We sat on floors. We used the bathroom/shower with the door open. There was no privacy or hot water so our 7 minute showers were exposed and freezing. We were force fed everyday until early 2009 when we were then starved. We ate in silence. Not finishing the food on your plate, which was expired food, was a meal violation. Walking in a straight line to and from the cafeteria was the only time we spent outside. Once some girls and I were walking back to the dorms late at night and we got to see something we haven’t in months and years: stars in the sky. We broke major violations when we decided to lay in the gravel holding hands to look at them. We lived, grieved, loved and broke rules in silence. Looking at a boy was a major violation! When the boys were near we were to turn around with our backs facing them to let them pass,which felt totally degrading. They were allowed to look at me though when I was told to dress up and dance solo to the song “Lady In Red” in a room full of boys and male staff who were strangers to me. I had to start the song over 3 times because I was told the first 2 times “weren’t good enough”. During my 3rd and final attempt I fell to my knees and did some crazy stuff with my hands in my hair. I was desperate, scared and mortified. I got a standing ovation and thank goodness because me getting out of the program depended on it. “Lady in Red” was my last “process” in the ‘Focus’ seminar and I needed to graduate ‘Focus’ in order to keep my level and points so I could vote up and go home. Seminars were days of consecutive brainwash techniques and emotional abuse that were mandatory every 6 weeks or so. If we didn’t complete the processes well enough it was called “choosing out” of seminar which meant 6 more weeks were added on to your stay. Another 6 weeks until you got the opportunity to complete the seminar. We were sleep and food deprived during these seminars which took place in a garage. They made me beat the concrete floor with a towel that was duct taped together and when that fell apart I was told to continue using my fist, so I did, until that swelled up 3 times its size and I had to sit out for the rest of that process and received no medical attention. Sexual abuse victims were slut shamed. We were told “based on your results you got exactly what you intended”. They told us we deserved it. They put us in “fight for your life” and “every man for themselves” scenarios. They had us scream why we deserve to live over one another all while