On February 28, 2004, I was involuntarily entered into a controversial drug-treatment center for teens, and my life was changed forever. But first, a little bit of what led me to the program called “Growing Together” in Palm Beach County, Florida. The label of ‘troubled teen’ was assigned to me sometime in 2002, when I was thirteen years old and in sixth grade. I was shamed and labeled a slut as well by the mothers and religious leaders at the Christian school I attended because my body had developed sooner than most of the other girls my age. There were also rumors about my parents separating and it seemed like the whole school knew about it. With all of this going on the faculty at the school decided I needed to be ‘saved.’ They forced me to get on my knees and recite their prayers, they forced their religious beliefs and Bible verses down my throat every chance they got. In response, I grew angry at God because of the way it was all being relentlessly pushed on me. Eventually I got so sick of it all, I just went along and did what they wanted so they would leave me alone. A few months later though, my school year ‘ended early’ (I was not technically expelled, but forced to leave early) because I wrote, “Just smoke weed, that’s all you will ever need,” in a classmate’s yearbook. The following school year was a huge transition for me. I entered eighth grade in public school, and it was difficult to find a place to fit in since I was coming from a private school. I barely knew anyone there since I hadn’t attended this school the previous year in seventh grade like almost everyone else. While trying to find a new set of friends, I was being silly and teasing a boy by taking his hat in one class, but after class he punched me a few times in front of a group of kids and no one did anything to stop it. Later that same month I got expelled for deciding to sell a girl a Xanax pill I had found to try to make some money since I was not legally able to have a job, but I had no idea the pill I sold her would cause her to have an allergic reaction. So now, it was off to an alternative school that was an hour and a half away from home. This is where I learned what it was like to be around people who don’t like you because of your skin color. Being the only white girl in the school quickly taught me to just do my work, stay out of everyone’s way and bring nothing of value from home to school. The girls wanted to fight me all the time just because my grades were going up and I had a release date to go back into the regular school system. This was one of the most terrifying times I ever had in the education system and I was glad I survived it. Meanwhile, I grew up watching my parents physically abuse each other after my brother was born, separate from each other, renew their vows and separate again until my mother decided to file divorce papers on Valentine’s Day of 2003, when I was fourteen years old. Little did I know this was just the beginning of even more turmoil to come. My mother moved my brother and I five times within the year and we were both confused and repeatedly struggling to make a new circle of friends. My mother was going out to bars every weekend and leaving me home alone with my seven-year-old brother. The relationship with my father was non-existent because my mother told me the divorce was all of his fault, which I would later learn was untrue. When I was able to go out with friends, mom allowed me to hang out with people who were much older than I was, and I began experimenting with drugs. It was that spring when I lost my virginity and became sexually active. I was also taken advantage of by multiple people in 2003. During this time, my mother was always hustling to make some side money, doing things from renting a room out of her house to breeding dogs. One time my mother rented out a room to a ‘friend’ of mine who was a twenty-three-year-old man. He also worked for my mother doing handy-man tasks around the house and barn. This supposed friend of mine on the night of his birthday which was a school night. He came home drunk at 4:30am, entered my room with a condom on, put a pillow over my head and raped me. I was frozen with fear. I was screaming inside of my mind but I couldn’t move. The next day, not knowing what else to do, I told my mother what happened. I was shocked when she didn’t believe me. This was the worst day in my life. So I talked to my friends about it and they didn’t believe me either. NO ONE BELIEVED ME. My anger took root and grew more and more each day until I decided I had to take drastic measures to get him out of the house. I decided to try to commit suicide on a Friday night by walking in the road late at night with my arms wide open, hoping a truck would hit me. When a SUV drove by, instead of hitting me, he stopped and asked me if I was ok. I told him no, that I wanted to die. I was already dead inside and felt all alone with no one to turn to for help. When I went back home that night my fight or flight response kicked in. The moment my assailant arrived back at the house, I started throwing everything I could at him. Hair dryer, an