Well here goes. I’m a survivor of childhood sexual abuse. I was physically emotionally and sexually abused by my mother. I never told a soul until triggered at the age of 39 by the birth of my son. He looked just like me and seeing that helpless baby boy rocked my world. It has touched every corner of my life. Everything from an eating disorder to suicide attempts to being a hustler selling myself in a search for a way to take control over my body. I carry much shame around all of this but am proud that I never hurt anyone but myself. I have done counseling for many years to come to terms with it all and I have been successful with it. (I’m still here lol). Married and raised three happy healthy abuse free successful children. Helped start up an organization that raised awareness and funds so that sexually abused kids could get treatment. Did several talk shows including Oprah to raise awareness. I do occasionally get days where I’m down but still consider myself s survivor I could go on but I hope my story helps. Oh and I’d like to add that when I confronted my mother about the abuse she said it wasn’t incest because there was no intercourse Mark! THANKS

In 1974, at the age of 14, I was abducted, beaten and raped by a stranger, a recidivist sexual predator hunting for boys in my childhood hometown of Lincoln, Rhode Island. I’m writing not to tell my story, but to share what I’ve learned in conversations and discussions with hundreds of survivors over the past ten years, to introduce you to my ‘5 Steps You Can Take to Keep Kids Safe,’ and to dive deep into Step 3, Know What To Do. My 5 Steps to Keep Kids Safe are 1. Know the facts 2. Know the signs 3. Know what to do 4. Know where to go 5. Know what to say   While each step is important in its own right, one step I think can make the most difference is the one I believe is less known, less public, most actionable. Number 3. Know What to Do. Step 3. Know What to Do   Since over 90% of sex crimes committed against children are committed by either family members or someone known to the child or their family, we should minimize the amount of alone time any child spends in one-on-one situations with an adult. Demand that adults with access to children involved in school, school bus transportation, extracurricular activities, sport programs, summer camps, music, dance, gymnastics, skating or other one-on-one teaching lessons are subject to mandatory background checks. Don’t leave children in the care of adults with active alcohol or drug problems. Nothing more needs to be said. Understand why a child might not tell. Children remain silent because of manipulation and misplaced guilt, shame, fear and to protect others. If you suspect abuse and your child won’t tell, don’t assume abuse isn’t happening. If you suspect abuse, trust your instinct, understand why a child might not tell and get help. Use positive stories in the news as a catalyst for discussion. When you hear about the next Amber Alert, discuss it with your child. Let kids know that there is a system in place that alerts adults and law enforcement that a child needs help. The next time the news reports a missing child being reunited with their family, talk about it. Fear is the tool of the perpetrator. As scared as a child may be during an assault, or an abduction, if they know that people are looking for them, if they know people are going to help them, the child may find some peace and hope in those thoughts. Positive stories in the news, discussed with children before they need to rely on them, may just be the hope they need to get through their own experience. Tell your child now, that you will believe them, they can trust you and you will help them. One way perpetrators manipulate their child victim is by telling the child no one will believe them. If a child knows before they’re abused, assaulted or raped that you will believe them, that they can trust you and that you will help them, you’ve taken away the perpetrators leverage over the innocent child. ——————————————— Keith Smith, the author of Men in My Town, is a Stranger Abduction Male Rape Survivor and Public Speaker on the topic of Childhood Sexual Abuse. The story of Keith’s assault and his transition from sexual assault victim to survivor has been featured in newspapers and magazines and his program, ‘5 Steps You Can Take to Keep Kids Safe’ has been discussed on radio and television. Keith’s story has been covered by the New York Times. He participated in Oprah Winfrey’s award-winning show, 200 Male Survivors of Childhood Sexual Abuse, was featured on Perspective : New Jersey with ABC Investigative Reporter Nora Muchanic and appeared on Anderson Cooper’s Special, State of Shame: The Penn State Sex Abuse Scandal. More information on the complete ‘5 Steps You Can Take to Keep Kids Safe’ can be found at https://meninmytown.wordpress.com/2014/08/17/keith-smith-stranger-abduction-sexual-assault-survivor-and-child-safety-expert-shares-5-steps-you-can-take-to-keep-kids-safe

I was born into a family that did not know how to cope with their pain. My father was an abusive alcoholic. We got relief when he would work out of town. When he was home, we all walked on eggshells. We didn’t know when the explosion might occur. I don’t remember when the sexual abuse started. I know it was pre-verbal. I carry memories of being a baby and being in pain and feeling very alone. I am certain my brother was also abused. How else would he know to abuse me, especially at such a young age. when my mom and I left the 2 of them behind, I was six. We were reunited when I was 12. The abuse started again. When I got my period, I said, you have to stop I could get pregnant. It stopped. I then felt guilty that I didn’t make it stop sooner. I took on the blame that was not mine. In between my mom and I lived with other families. One situation was a man, living on his own. He also abused me and abused one of my friends. I was 9 years old and carried that guilt for many years. I was also angry with my body for responding. I ended up marrying an abuser because it was what I knew. There was some violence and I was not allowed to say no to sex. It was a game to him, one I hated. I finally left and started to take my life back. I did some group work and personal work to finally realize it was never my fault, my body was on reacting to the stimulus, I am not flawed, and I am lovable. Today I help others. So please if you are in pain, there is help out there for you.

April is Child Abuse National Prevention Month. During April, Pennsylvania Family Support Alliance (PFSA) undertakes a multi-tiered effort to encourage Pennsylvanians to get a clearer picture of the tragedy of child abuse and what role they can play in preventing it. PFSA believes that every citizen in Pennsylvania has a vital role to play in protecting our children. This center is designed to help you do just that! It’s a complex problem and the child welfare system is also complicated. They want to help you understand the issues, communicate with key legislative leaders and use your voice to ensure the safety of our most precious state resource – our children. PFSA has been honored to work with members of the Task Force on Child Protection, the House Children and Youth Committee, the Senate Aging and Youth Committee and members of PA’s General Assembly to strengthen our Child Protective Services Law and advance efforts to keep PA’s children safe from child abuse. It has been an extraordinary time and the changes made will spare countless children from immeasurable harm. It has been a time of walking the talk and putting the safety of children above the convenience of individuals, institutions and organizations. We applaud the efforts of everyone who played a role in these changes; changes that collectively are steps toward changing our state’s culture toward how children are valued. On average, more than 30 children die in Pennsylvania each year as a result of child abuse, most at the hands of a parent who gave them life. We need your help to turn this around; we simply can’t sit by when the equivalent of one elementary school classroom of children are killed annually. Join us in the fight to protect PA’s kids – they need you and so do we! PFSA also work with legislators to bring their prevention message to citizens in their legislative districts. They recently met with constituents of State Rep. Kathy Watson in her Bucks County district to discuss changes to the CPSL, background checks and clearances and their community-based prevention program, the Front Porch Project. They help shape, move and improve public policies to protect our kids. They’re a visible presence on Capitol Hill, leading the charge on laws requiring mandated reporter training and comprehensive background checks for educators, and championing PA’s long-needed package of bills revamping our state’s child protection laws. Learn about their history of championing improved protection for children, current policy debates and legislative initiatives: http://www.pa-fsa.org/Prevention-Month

Teresa is an advocate for Prevent Child Abuse Vermont, and a child abuse victim herself.  It’s been almost 30 years since she moved to Vermont and away from a life she swore she’d leave behind. “There was a lot of physical and sexual abuse, all in relation to my surroundings,” says Teresa.  “There was probably between 7 and 10 abuse cases that I went through…stepfather, uncle, neighbors, friends of friends.” Teresa teaches the nurturing program, offered through Prevent Child Abuse Vermont, an advocacy group geared towards stopping child abuse before it happens. “It teaches parents empathy and learning from past behaviors and how to change them.” It’s one resource you can turn to if you know of a potential child abuse, or neglect case.  Reports in Vermont are going up. Data shows since 2014, 50% of children from birth to five years old came into state custody due to opioid abuse in their families. Teresa says the work is far from over to make sure another child doesn’t become another statistic. “They need to have more people listening to their stories and helping them out and not just giving them a number.” Read more of this article here: http://www.mychamplainvalley.com/news/child-abuse-prevention-month-how-is-vermont-protecting-your-kids/1146109353

April is Child Abuse Awareness month, a time to recognize that we can each play a part in promoting the social and emotional wellbeing of children and families of our community.  After all, child abuse and neglect is 100% preventable. Every year volunteers and advocates plant pinwheel gardens in recognition of Child Abuse Prevention Month. The pinwheel gardens are our promise to children that we are all working to make our community a safe and nurturing place for them and families to grow and flourish. Our pinwheel gardens are a great visible reminder to us all. Children hold the future and its in the best interest as a community we make sure they are safe and well cared for.  They are our future and well worth the investment of your time and attention.  Everyone can do something, Here are a few suggestions as to how you can help create great childhoods happen and get involved in child abuse prevention. Three specific actions  – mentoring children and parents, advocating for family friendly policies in the workplace, and donating time and money – relate to child abuse while giving the public tools and resources they need. Read more on how to be involved in child abuse prevention: http://www.munciejournal.com/2018/04/april-is-child-abuse-awareness-month/

Adult survivors of childhood trauma and child abuse share personal stories of recovery to help break down isolation and give hope and optimism. Read these stories here: https://www.blueknot.org.au/Survivors-Supporters/For-Survivors/Survivor-Stories

“Forgiveness is to me a paradox. Sometimes it seems like the penultimate step in moving on. Sometimes I think that forgiveness is more than abusers deserve. Sometimes I don’t know whom to forgive.” Read Clare’s story: https://www.childabuseroyalcommission.gov.au/narratives/clares-story

The following are real case studies which have been identified to protect the privacy of the children involved. Please take a moment to read how vulnerable lives can be turned around with the help of intensive therapy: https://www.actforkids.com.au/stories/